Getting Rid of Negativity in Your Life

As sinful human beings born into a sinful world it is a natural reaction to think negatively. Our minds are hard wired to detect and dwell on negative events and circumstances. There are so many things in the world to be negative about right? Life isn't easy and in fact a large majority of the time it's just downright hard. No one wants to go to work. No one wants to pay bills. No one wants to struggle to get through the day with annoyances like other people. We have an evolutionary imprint called the negativity bias or the instinct to have a greater sensitivity to negative events rather than positive ones. This is why the Bible talks so much about our minds and taking control of what we think and how we speak.
So how can we overcome this negativity bias? How can we kick negativity to the curb and be positive, happy, and inspirational people? I have a few ideas if you'll entertain me... 

1. Throw them out, literally. 

Have you ever written a letter to someone and burned it instead of actually giving it to them? Have you ever journaled? Have you ever written a message and put it in a balloon and sent it up in the sky or put it in a bottle and threw in in a river? It's the same premise. Write down your negative feelings and thoughts about people or circumstances and then rip them up and throw them away. There is a psychological premise behind this. There was a study done at Ohio State University where a group of people were asked to write down their negative thoughts on paper and then throw them in the garbage. Another group was asked to keep the pieces of paper with the negative thoughts. Researchers discovered that by throwing away the negative pieces of paper it literally helped discard the thought mentally. However you perceive your pieces of paper, whether trash or worthy of keeping, makes a difference in how you use those thoughts.

2. Express gratitude and thankfulness. 

I was able to find approximately 74 verses in the Bible that talk about expressing gratitude and thankfulness, giving praise to God and speaking positively. One of my favorites is a memory verse from childhood that is also a song we used to sing in praise and worship..."This is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it" Psalm 118:24.

Our memories are not carved in stone. We choose what we remember. Our minds are awesome creations that allow us to block out certain memories because of trauma or other negativity, or to magnify them them. By concentrating on negative memories or thoughts we begin to ruminate about them. Ruminating on the negativity will harden our hearts eventually and we will turn into little balls of anger. Fortunately, our minds are able to express gratitude and by expressing gratitude we are able to remember positive memories and we are even able to transform negative memories into positive ones. We are mentally able to turn negative into positive. Negative cannot live where positive lives, just like darkness cannot live where light lives. John 1:5 says, "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it". 

3. Get rid of negative people. 

Let's be honest here, people are annoying. Whether it's our parents, our children, our co-workers, our boss, the person standing in line in front of you at the store, some guy in the car next to you, or a neighbor. Life is full of annoying people. We're human beings and we do and say annoying things. But there is a difference between those people and the general annoyances they bring to our lives that are easily manageable and the people who deliberately do things and say things to bring negativity into our lives. We have to create boundaries in our lives and learn to say no to negative people. We do not have to tolerate people in our lives that bring us down, make us feel bad about ourselves, speak badly to us and about us, or make us feel that we are unlovable. We do not have to tolerate people to are constantly negative to us and towards us. It doesn't matter how close someone is to us, whether family or friend, you have to define your boundaries and you have to stick to them. It's ok to cut negative people out of your life. You do not have to allow them to dull your shine for one more day. When someone begins speaking negative words, walk away, cut off the conversation, and teach them that you will not tolerate that in your life. They will either change their behavior or they will remove themselves from your life because they will realize you will not entertain their negativity.

4. Stop complaining. 

It's easy to complain about things. That job you hate, the bills you have to pay, the annoying neighbor, the paper you have to write, the laundry you have to do, etc, etc, etc. When we complain we create un-necessary negativity because we're speaking negative words. I'm not saying it's easy. I'm probably the worst about complaining. But I've tried it, and I've realized that the minute I open my mouth to complain and I think before I speak and just stop the words, I instantly feel better. There are things in life we just don't want to do but we have to. There is no getting around going to work if you want to have a roof over your head, food on your table, and clothes on your back. Same with paying bills. Laundry doesn't fold itself and if you want to get a good grade, you do your work and that includes writing your paper or taking your test. There really is no reason to complain because we're lucky enough to even be alive every day to have something to complain about. When you start to complain, just stop and think about someone who has it worse than you. 

5. Don't engage in negative social media. 

Negativity is all over social media. Facebook is chocked full of negative news articles and negative people posting negative complaining comments. I have fallen victim too many times of seeing a negative or ignorant post and commenting on it or re-posting it and the snowball effect is just amazing. Before long I find myself de-friended or blocked by someone or de-friending and blocking someone out of anger and then later feeling bad about it and wishing I could take back what I said. It's super easy to fight with people when you're hiding behind a computer screen and typically the things we say to each other on social media, we would never say to the person if really standing face to face. Delete the negative friends who constantly complain. If they're really your friend they will understand that you're trying to make changes in your life and not take it personally. In fact it may even challenge them to make some changes too. It's easy to re-friend someone. Delete or "un-like" negative pages that spew nothing but negative articles that promote racism, negative politics, anti-religious speak, etc. Those are my personal triggers so you need to be specific about your triggers. Just get rid of them. It's not worth your time. The best gift you can give your friends and family is your happiness and the more of it we spread on social media the better. Choose happiness and positivity and spread that stuff all over social media! It's contagious! 

I know that none of this is easy. These are all things I struggle with daily. I know however that I have to try. And that's all you can do too. The truth is, we will never be completely free of negative thoughts or people. We don't necessarily need to be because negative thoughts and emotions are a natural part of the human condition. In fact, a healthy dose of negativity can be just the kick in the pants you need for change. Acknowledge your negative thoughts, embrace them, and thank your brain for communicating with you, but take steps to at least change your relationship with your negative thoughts. Don't live another day letting negative thoughts or people control you, your attitude, or your emotions because it's far to easy to control them!