Make Time

 As much as I would love to say that I have a great devotional life, I will admit...that is a lie. I mean I read my Bible, and I pray, and I read devotionals but just like everyone else, I get busy and I get distracted and I get sidetracked and my reading list ends up falling by the wayside. I know that God knows all the things I have in my life to do, I don't need to make excuses to Him. But I do need to be accountable for my own excuses and be honest with myself and with Him. Christ makes time for me so the why shouldn't I make time for Him? I've said this a few times...2015 for me is all about changes.

Let's face it...life gets in the way. We say we are going to exercise, go on that diet, read a book, hang with friends, etc, etc, etc, but then life gets in the way and we find every excuse in the book to put off what we know that we need to do. If you're anything like me, procrastination could literally make you a millionaire if you actually got paid for it. We have stuff going on. We have jobs, school, kids, our kids school and activities, marriages, television we love to watch, meals to cook, bills to pay, and the need to fit glorious sleep into it all. If we want to have a good relationship with Christ we have to make the time. We cannot just expect it to fall in our lap. He is just waiting on us. He is there, all the time, any time you need Him. He's not going anywhere. But if we don't make time to meet Him and talk with Him and spend time in His word, our lives will suffer. It is imperative not only for our earthly life but especially for our Heavenly life and Salvation that we make time for our Creator!! 

I know this information may be a bit TMI (too much information) but I am going to be real with you to show what works for me when it comes to making time for the things I know I need, and want to do...

Typically my morning routine consists of getting up, dragging myself out of bed, dragging myself to the coffee pot to turn it on, dragging myself to the bathroom to do my morning "bidness", dragging myself into the shower, sluggishly putting on my face, getting my son up, doing my hair and getting dressed, packing lunches, and draaaaaaaging myself out of the door. Doesn't sound like a great start to the day does it? I am famous for checking all my social media sites while I do my "bidness" in the morning. My friends will tell you..."she checks her Facebook or texts, and even calls me while she poops". *Shrug*, it's just what I do. :) 

I have been thinking about ways I can make more time in my day to spend time in God's word.  I've been really wanting to push myself to make time for the important things in life and lets face it, Facebook and Twitter are really not that important. So, instead of checking my social media in the morning, I have been reading my devotional. Instead of checking my Facebook and trying to read some article while I do my hair, I have been playing praise music on YouTube. I mean I still sneak in the occasional peek of course but I've been really trying to discipline myself out of that habit. Life is about habits and we either have good ones or bad ones. The only way to change bad habits is to replace them with good ones. 

My 2015 Devotional is Solid Ground by Mark Finley, and it's so far, phenomenal! 

I know that this plan isn't fool proof and I know that I will fail but the important thing is that I keep trying and I keep making the effort to make time available for God. I continually pray for His help in reminding me that I need to put my phone down, and pick up His book instead. My days have started out much better because of this. My attitude is different. I don't drag as much now as I push. Instead of feeling defeated about the day ahead, I am hopeful and I am feeling much happier and so much more inspired! 

If you're having trouble finding the time to fit Bible Study or Devotions into your day consider these couple options:

1. Do you have a reading age child that you drive to school, to after school events, etc? Have them read your devotional to you while you are driving. 

2. Do you have a job where you can listen to music or watch movies during the day? I process so I am able to plug in my earbuds and drown out the world. Consider downloading devotions or the Bible onto your iPod and worship while you work. 

3. Do you have a CD player in your car or a CD player you can put in your bathroom? Consider purchasing Devotions on CD and listening while you're getting ready in the morning or while you drive to or home from work. Here are a few that I think look really interesting and by some of my favorite authors...and huge bonus...they are really reasonably priced and when you're done you can always loan them out to your friends :)

Devotions from the Beth Moore Library

Devotions from the Beth Moore Library Vol. 2

LifeWay Women's Devotional

Devotional Audio Books

Hearing From God Each Morning

A plethora of Audio books and devotions

Do you guys have goals and ideas for making time with Christ that you want to share? Because I would LOVE to hear them!! 

Proverbs 31 Woman

In my description you see that I say that I am a "striving Proverbs 31 Woman". What does that mean you might wonder? I aim to tell you...
I ran across a website a few years ago that immediately captured my heart called Proverbs 31 Ministry and they are women who strive to be Biblical, loving, caring, Godly wives and mothers. They provide daily devotionals, inspiration, books, and advice for the every day mom and wife to become closer to Christ and more Christ-like in practical in their/your every day lives. 

Taken from AVirtousWoman.org

Proverbs is one of my all time favorite books because wisdom is at the very heart of the book of Proverbs. Most of the book was written by King Solomon, whom God blessed with the gift of great wisdom. Proverbs allows us to delve into subjects as varies as money, relationships, folly, adultery, child-rearing, contentment, and choosing good companions. Proverbs is in my opinion one of thee most practical books of the Bible because its full of messages that apply to our every day lives no matter what decade we live in. The book is literally a treasure trove of advice. Godly wisdom is one of life's most important  and valuable pursuits, worth much more than material wealth. People can choose to read this book monthly, one chapter each day, to be sure to keep the lessons learned at the front of their minds. If you have never read Proverbs I strongly encourage you to do so and if you are a wife and mom specifically Proverbs 31:10-31 which talks about The Wife Of Noble Character. While I am in love with these particular books of Proverbs, I know that the entire book is critical in applying Godly wisdom to every situation in every day. 

I grew up reading and memorizing Scripture. It's incredibly important for us to spend time in God's Word because the Holy Spirit speaks through us. We can pray for wisdom until we're blue in the face and we can ask for the Holy Spirit to speak through us but The Holy Spirit cannot and will not speak through us unless we take the time to memorize Scripture and have it hidden in our hearts and available for when we need it. We are going to encounter many situations on a daily basis where we will have a chance to witness to those around us. If you don't already have Scripture hidden in your heart then what are you going to draw from when it's time to witness or when it's time to defend or stand up for what you believe and claim to live? Bottom line, what I am saying, is that we have got to memorize versus that back up our claims for our Christian lifestyle and so that we understand what we believe and why we believe it. Having Scripture hidden in our hearts will seep out into every single faucet of our lives. Not only is it important and critical but it makes us happier. I want to help you memorize Proverbs so I've picked out some of my favorite versus for your Scripture reading plan and memory verse plan for 2015. I PROMISE you that by memorizing these simple and practical versus, your life will change. You will start relating to people and situations in your life differently because you will be able to apply these to your life very easily! 

Once you decide to read through Proverbs and memorize these Scriptures and find the ones that you love the most I would love to hear from you on how they affect you and how you've been able to apply them to your life. Please...I love to hear from you! 

Getting Rid of Negativity in Your Life

As sinful human beings born into a sinful world it is a natural reaction to think negatively. Our minds are hard wired to detect and dwell on negative events and circumstances. There are so many things in the world to be negative about right? Life isn't easy and in fact a large majority of the time it's just downright hard. No one wants to go to work. No one wants to pay bills. No one wants to struggle to get through the day with annoyances like other people. We have an evolutionary imprint called the negativity bias or the instinct to have a greater sensitivity to negative events rather than positive ones. This is why the Bible talks so much about our minds and taking control of what we think and how we speak.
So how can we overcome this negativity bias? How can we kick negativity to the curb and be positive, happy, and inspirational people? I have a few ideas if you'll entertain me... 

1. Throw them out, literally. 

Have you ever written a letter to someone and burned it instead of actually giving it to them? Have you ever journaled? Have you ever written a message and put it in a balloon and sent it up in the sky or put it in a bottle and threw in in a river? It's the same premise. Write down your negative feelings and thoughts about people or circumstances and then rip them up and throw them away. There is a psychological premise behind this. There was a study done at Ohio State University where a group of people were asked to write down their negative thoughts on paper and then throw them in the garbage. Another group was asked to keep the pieces of paper with the negative thoughts. Researchers discovered that by throwing away the negative pieces of paper it literally helped discard the thought mentally. However you perceive your pieces of paper, whether trash or worthy of keeping, makes a difference in how you use those thoughts.

2. Express gratitude and thankfulness. 

I was able to find approximately 74 verses in the Bible that talk about expressing gratitude and thankfulness, giving praise to God and speaking positively. One of my favorites is a memory verse from childhood that is also a song we used to sing in praise and worship..."This is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it" Psalm 118:24.

Our memories are not carved in stone. We choose what we remember. Our minds are awesome creations that allow us to block out certain memories because of trauma or other negativity, or to magnify them them. By concentrating on negative memories or thoughts we begin to ruminate about them. Ruminating on the negativity will harden our hearts eventually and we will turn into little balls of anger. Fortunately, our minds are able to express gratitude and by expressing gratitude we are able to remember positive memories and we are even able to transform negative memories into positive ones. We are mentally able to turn negative into positive. Negative cannot live where positive lives, just like darkness cannot live where light lives. John 1:5 says, "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it". 

3. Get rid of negative people. 

Let's be honest here, people are annoying. Whether it's our parents, our children, our co-workers, our boss, the person standing in line in front of you at the store, some guy in the car next to you, or a neighbor. Life is full of annoying people. We're human beings and we do and say annoying things. But there is a difference between those people and the general annoyances they bring to our lives that are easily manageable and the people who deliberately do things and say things to bring negativity into our lives. We have to create boundaries in our lives and learn to say no to negative people. We do not have to tolerate people in our lives that bring us down, make us feel bad about ourselves, speak badly to us and about us, or make us feel that we are unlovable. We do not have to tolerate people to are constantly negative to us and towards us. It doesn't matter how close someone is to us, whether family or friend, you have to define your boundaries and you have to stick to them. It's ok to cut negative people out of your life. You do not have to allow them to dull your shine for one more day. When someone begins speaking negative words, walk away, cut off the conversation, and teach them that you will not tolerate that in your life. They will either change their behavior or they will remove themselves from your life because they will realize you will not entertain their negativity.

4. Stop complaining. 

It's easy to complain about things. That job you hate, the bills you have to pay, the annoying neighbor, the paper you have to write, the laundry you have to do, etc, etc, etc. When we complain we create un-necessary negativity because we're speaking negative words. I'm not saying it's easy. I'm probably the worst about complaining. But I've tried it, and I've realized that the minute I open my mouth to complain and I think before I speak and just stop the words, I instantly feel better. There are things in life we just don't want to do but we have to. There is no getting around going to work if you want to have a roof over your head, food on your table, and clothes on your back. Same with paying bills. Laundry doesn't fold itself and if you want to get a good grade, you do your work and that includes writing your paper or taking your test. There really is no reason to complain because we're lucky enough to even be alive every day to have something to complain about. When you start to complain, just stop and think about someone who has it worse than you. 

5. Don't engage in negative social media. 

Negativity is all over social media. Facebook is chocked full of negative news articles and negative people posting negative complaining comments. I have fallen victim too many times of seeing a negative or ignorant post and commenting on it or re-posting it and the snowball effect is just amazing. Before long I find myself de-friended or blocked by someone or de-friending and blocking someone out of anger and then later feeling bad about it and wishing I could take back what I said. It's super easy to fight with people when you're hiding behind a computer screen and typically the things we say to each other on social media, we would never say to the person if really standing face to face. Delete the negative friends who constantly complain. If they're really your friend they will understand that you're trying to make changes in your life and not take it personally. In fact it may even challenge them to make some changes too. It's easy to re-friend someone. Delete or "un-like" negative pages that spew nothing but negative articles that promote racism, negative politics, anti-religious speak, etc. Those are my personal triggers so you need to be specific about your triggers. Just get rid of them. It's not worth your time. The best gift you can give your friends and family is your happiness and the more of it we spread on social media the better. Choose happiness and positivity and spread that stuff all over social media! It's contagious! 

I know that none of this is easy. These are all things I struggle with daily. I know however that I have to try. And that's all you can do too. The truth is, we will never be completely free of negative thoughts or people. We don't necessarily need to be because negative thoughts and emotions are a natural part of the human condition. In fact, a healthy dose of negativity can be just the kick in the pants you need for change. Acknowledge your negative thoughts, embrace them, and thank your brain for communicating with you, but take steps to at least change your relationship with your negative thoughts. Don't live another day letting negative thoughts or people control you, your attitude, or your emotions because it's far to easy to control them! 

Let Go and Move on with your Bad Self!

Raise your hand if you've never been hurt or offended by someone....

Crickets....Crickets....Crickets....

That's what I thought. We've all been hurt. We've all been wronged. We've all been cheated. We've all experienced that hot knife of betrayal. We've all had some sort of experience at the hand of another person that has crushed us. We've been cheated on, we've been lied to, we've been stolen from, we've been talked about and slandered, and bullied. It hurts. I get that. Emotional pain is one of the hardest things to get past because it's extremely easy to let that pain fester and build into anger and resentment and we easily allow the thoughts of revenge into our minds and hearts. What we do with that hurt is more important however that the hurt itself. Would you prefer to wallow in that pain and constantly demand answers and spin your wheels in memories that you cannot change or would you rather live your life free of emotional pain and break the chains of bondage that the past can keep on you? 

The Blame Game

Blaming other people for our hurt and emotional pain is typically the first place we start. Somebody did something to wrong us in some way that really mattered to us. We want an explanation and we demand an apology. We want them to acknowledge to us that they've hurt us and then we demand that they explain all the why's and what's of what they did. We beat them over the head with their offense. Blaming other people will only in the end leave you powerless. Sometimes there are no answers for the reasons people have hurt you. Typically people don't even realize in the moment that their action is going to hurt you or betray you. And typically, the person hurting you, has also been hurt. Hurt people, hurt people. When you continually blame people you give them the power. When you confront the person and demand answers that they don't give you, you are left with anger and hurt and no resolution. Your feelings are legit. You have a right to feel them, they are important. But once you have felt those feelings, you need to deal with them and then move on. Nursing your grievances against another person is a bad habit and it hurts you more than it hurts them. Most of the time when you're still setting and blaming them and hurting over their offense, they have moved on and aren't even thinking about you or what they did to you. 

Stop Playing the Victim

Being the victim feels good. It's like being on the winning side of the team of you against the world. Guess what? The larger part of the world, doesn't care. Ouch! I know. That hurts to hear. It hurts to think that the world doesn't revolve around you and doesn't constantly think how you think, feel how you feel, or hurt how you hurt. You just need to get over yourself. Yes, you're special. You matter. Your feelings matter. Your hurts matter. But don't confuse  "your feelings matter" with "your feelings should override all else, and nothing else matters". You and your feelings are just one small part of the grand scheme of things and you are interwoven into this big complex and messy world. You, and you alone have the chance and choice every minute, every day, every week, and every year to continue to feel bad about other person's actions, or to start feeling good and feeling happy. You need to take responsibility for your actions and your life. You have the power over your own happiness, and not to put such great power into another persons hands. If they're no longer thinking about what they did to you then why would you give them such great power of living in a past with them where they are no longer living instead of living right here, right now, in the present? Stop playing the victim of the past and look forward to the future. 

Forgive...even if you can't forget

There are a million cliches about forgiveness and let me tell you something...they are all true. Forgiveness doesn't excuse the person's behavior. Forgiveness doesn't mean you are weak. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you forget about what happened to you. Forgiveness isn't for the other person, it is for you. Forgiveness lets the past be in the past. It releases you from the bondage of hurt feelings and past offenses. It releases you from the person that hurt you. You don't forget. You will always remember. Those hurt moments in your life shape you and contribute to your self worth, your esteem, your decisions, and your future. You remember that experience that happened and what you're supposed to do is learn from it and not make a bad choice or decision again. What you're not supposed to do is let it hold you hostage. What forgiveness does is softens our hearts to the fact that not one person in this entire universe is perfect. There was only one perfect person that walked this earth and that was Jesus Christ. When you are hurt and offended and want to hold the past against someone or beat them over the head with the "sin" they committed against you, ask yourself one simple question....What Would Jesus Do? When we sin against God all we have to do is ask Him for His mercy and forgiveness and His grace and it's done. He takes those sins and He throws them into the depths of the ocean and He never thinks of them again. "You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl our inequities into the depths of the sea" Micah 7:19. Forgiveness is a way of empathizing with the other person, and trying to see things from their point of view, and ultimately, having mercy on another person.  You may never get an apology from the person that wronged you. You may never get an explanation. You ultimately have got to live your life with an apology you may never get. 

Be Accountable

Express your pain, your hurt, and your anger, when you are able whether it's directly to the person who wronged you, or whether you write a letter you never mail, or whether you journal the pain, or whether you pray about the pain. Get it our of your system and then move on. Stop bashing the person over the head with it. Stop asking the same questions over and over. Stop expecting things you will never get. Getting it out will help you understand what specifically you are hurting about and then allow you to take accountability for your own part. Are you holding onto a grudge that you need to let go? Were you part of the problem? We don't live in a black and white world, even when it sometimes feels like we do. While you may not have had the same amount of responsibility for the hurt you are experiencing as the person that hurt you, there may have been a part of the hurt that you are also partially responsible for. What could you do differently next time? Are you an active participant in your own life, or are you simply a hopeless victim? Will you let your past and your pain become your identity or are you someone deeper and more complex than that? Are you withholding joy from your life and others lives because of the pain and hurt you feel or the offense against you? Are you robbing others in your life of you because you can't get past something that happened to you? Take accountability for your life and your actions! 

None of this is easy stuff. I know it's hard. I am as guilty as the next guy for holding grudges and recycling offenses against me like little reels of tape in my mind. But pain, if held onto for too long can soon become like an old friend. Justified. Like it would be catastrophic if you just let it go. Grudges create little holes in your heart that allow Satan to walk into like an open door and fester and grow until your heart is so black that no joy and no thought of better life could ever possibly be possible. Living this way is not the life that Christ had planned for you. Your Creator did not design you to live in the past. By holding onto things that cannot be changed you are not living for Him. Satan wins by keeping you offended because if you are offended you are not being active for God. You cannot live God's will if you are resentful and hurt and angry. Nobody's life should be defined by their pain. It's not healthy and it's not normal. It only adds stress to our lives and it hurts our ability to focus, to study and to work, and it impacts every other relationship we have. Every day you choose to hold onto the pain is another day everybody around you has to live with that decision. Living in the past and holding onto that pain has consequences for you and everyone around you. 

Remember, if we crowd our brains and lives, with hurt and offended feelings, we have very little room for anything else, including joy. It's a choice you're making to continue to feel the hurt rather than welcoming joy and contentment into your life. No amount of rumination or analyses has ever fixed a relationship problem. Never. Not in the entirety of the world's history. Stop dwelling on things that cannot be changed. When your past comes calling...HANG UP THE PHONE! 

Happy New Year 2015!

Before I begin on this blog I have a confession to make...

I am not a very good blogger

Not because I don't have anything to say because those who know me...know I have A LOT to talk about. I currently have 6 drafts saved of things I want to write about and I have lists saved on my "notes" app on my phone of things I want to share with you all. When I approached one of my favorite bloggers and friends (Tattooed Martha) about possibly starting a blog she of course gave me all the encouragement in the world because I kept telling her how much I wanted to do it but that I thought I wouldn't be able to dedicate enough time. She just kept telling me that I should just do it and to do as much as I could. I am thankful for that advice because it drove  me to actually create this blog and although I haven't put as much time in it as I want, I know it's always here for me. I could call it procrastination I suppose. With all these ideas in my head I should be flooding this thing. But instead of blogging I watch my favorite tv shows, or I sleep, or I do something else, anything else really. I do have a really good excuse that with school and the once a week 1200 word paper I have to write, finding time to write here is just taking a back seat. Someday...that won't be the case but for now I am blessed that I can find some time every now and then to get some things off my chest in this format and that I have all of you to care enough to keep visiting to read what I have to say.

New Year Resolutions

The one thing about New Years that I don't like is those pesky resolutions. Everyone makes them every year and I think it takes all but a few weeks and we get bored with them or find them too hard and we give up. I would love to be able to make some resolutions that I can actually keep. I don't think resolutions are necessarily bad but like goals we need to make sure they are reachable, attainable, measurable, and realistic so that we don't find ourselves in that same rut of giving up before we've even started. I really want to make 2015 a year of changes. There are going to be changes in my life including graduating with my Bachelor's in Human Services Management, starting my Master's in Christian counseling with a focus on addiction, moving from this negative place I've been living in for far to long, and hopefully advancing in a few different area's. These are physical things that are going to happen but there are also emotional changes that I would like to make in my life as well. My hope is to blog about a few of them but for now I would like to share with you a few of the goals that I have set for the year....

1. I don't have to comment on respond to every ignorant  or taunting Facebook post I see on my thread, or any negative or unrighteous talk in real life. Walk away. 

We do not have to entertain or engage into every argument we're invited into and let me tell you, there are a ton out there. I find myself getting into some of the stupidest arguments and debates with people on social media because I just can't resist giving my opinion. I need to learn that my opinion is mine and that not everyone needs to hear it or wants to hear it. I need to choose carefully my words when interacting with others so that I am a blessing to them and not another hindrance in their lives. Arguing with people over issues that I know I'm not going to change their mind over, just adds frustration and bitterness to my life.  In 2015 I am going to make a very conscious and purposeful effort to not do this because it's just a a waste of time and emotion.

2. Thanking Jesus every morning. I am a prayer. I believe in prayer. I write down my prayers, I pray for other people. I talk to Jesus all day long in my head. I don't however make a habit or have a purposeful thing of thanking Him the minute I wake up and my eyes open. Instead I open my eyes and I growl or I complain to Him that I don't want to get up, or that I am tired, or something about something I don't want to do. I've read so many things about how our mind is a battlefield and we have the best weapon in the world and that is our Savior and I know that by thanking Him the minute I open my eyes instead of complaining is going to set a very different tone for my day. 

3. Ridding my life of negativity and negative people. There is so much negativity in the world. There always has been but it's gotten worse in my opinion over the last few years and a lot of it has to do with social media. Everyone has a public voice now and no one (including me) seems to have a filter or have a regard for how their words can be a weapon against other people. We wonder why kids bully each other and we're heartbroken when children will actually take their own lives because of how they are treated by other children but looking at how we as adults talk to and treat each other, it's honestly no wonder. There is something psychological and physical about how we talk to ourselves and to other people. The Bible talks a lot about this and how our tongue is a weapon that can either build someone up or tear them down. Speaking negative words about ourselves to our selves, or speaking negative words to other people and about other people is a weapon that tears down and it's my goal this year to stop doing that. I also plan to get rid of the people in my life that cause negative feelings. If you don't have anything positive to contribute to my life, get out of it because I'm going to be about growing and thriving and I have no time for you.  Negativity is just something I don't have time for this year!

Those are just a few of the things I have planned for myself this year...what resolutions or goals do you have ? Do you have a plan or a map for the year that you can keep these goals?