Let me tell you something about FAMILY...

When I was growing up I thought I had a pretty big family. I had Grandparents and Great-Grandparents that lived very close. In fact, right in the same neighborhood. I had cousins and Aunts and Uncles that lived close. I remember vividly having wonderful family get together's right outside my door. It was because of two great people that we were all so close.

My Grandma and Grandpa Courtney were thee patriarchs of our family. They were the central point where everyone gathered. They were the reason that we gathered. They are my real first memory of what family was and is. They were strong, they were loving, they were problem solvers, they were fun...they made all of us. I saw something funny on Facebook the other day about a Grandma that was in the midst of a family get together and said, "If it wasn't for my vagina, all these people wouldn't be here". Well, that totally reminds me of these two because if it wasn't for them...

Once my Grandma passed away and my Grandpa became too sick to continue the family get together's we all drifted apart. We all became to busy with our own lives to make time for each other and of course in every family, there is always some sort of drama or dispute over something that drives rifts between people that are supposed to love each other. Luckily over the years I've been able to create my own relationships with my cousins and Aunts and Uncles and I choose to make sure the relationships and communication stay there because I value them in my life.
Because of family drama on my mom's side of the family I never got to spend time with them. It wasn't until my Grandpa became sick that we started spending time with them and it was only on holidays that I got to see any of my Aunts or Uncles or Cousins. Luckily with the invention of Facebook I've now been able to get to know them all and we get to see each other more often. It is sad though that I missed out on so much of my family because of some stupid dispute that the adults couldn't solve.

When I met my husband I thought all of this "small family" business was going to change. He has a big family on both sides that all seemed very close and spent a lot of time together and I was excited at the possibility of having an extended family that would love me like their own. I do have some very special memories of time spent with them but, I also have some really bad ones as well. You see, sometimes personalities just don't mesh, even when you try so hard to please people. Over the last 15 years we have went back and forth and back and forth, fighting, bickering, not speaking to each other, and abusing one another. Of course we all have our stories of why this has happened and we all have blame to place. The one thing I know for sure is that my son and my nieces and nephews are like me as kid, missing out.

I started writing this blog on my son's 14th birthday June 14th. It's taken me some time to get my thoughts together because while his birthday is so special to his Dad and me, it doesn't seem to be very special to other people so with happiness, it also brings sadness. It brings memories of past birthdays that have been ruined because of the attitudes of family members who have never accepted me or my son. It's beyond me how grandparents can choose to have nothing to do with their grandchild but I've had to learn to live past the pain of it and just accept that it is what it is and just double and sometimes triple the love we give to him. We have had to surround ourselves with people that value us, that love us, and that choose us to be in their lives as much as we choose to be in theirs. We have had to mourn the loss of this family that has completely cut us out of their lives for reasons we just can't comprehend and instead embrace even tighter the ones who are there for us.

In the midst of the sadness we realize however that "family" isn't always blood. They aren't always people that you've grown up with or spent years with. We have my parents, my mom and my "other" Dad, Ken. If you know me, you know that I despise the word "step" when it refers to parents or in-laws and my "other" Dad doesn't deserve to be called a "step" Dad because he's more to me than that simple and rude word. He came into my Mom's life and he loved her and he took care of her and along with that he welcomed me into his family and a part of their lives. His friends became our friends and his family are our family. When our little Killian was born Ken instantly became "Papa" and they developed a very strong bond right away. Ken never looked or treated Killian as anything other than his Grandson and the fact that blood didn't connect them didn't matter a bit. The same went for all of his family. Years ago when Killian was very little he started calling Ken's brother John, Uncle John John. It was so sweet and so pure and it stuck and now we all call him Uncle John John. He looks at me and Killian as much as a neice and nephew as he does his blood relatives. He proves that by the way he signs Killian's birthday cards...

We have friends in our lives that we value and friendships that developed years and years ago and these friends have become part of our family. It doesn't matter how long we go without talking or seeing each other, we pick right up where we left off. I thank God for them because I know He gave them to us to make up for what we might be missing elsewhere.

So while there are times that we are sad and become bitter over things we can't control, thank God there are moments where He steps in and shows us that He is making up for what we think we've lost. I have to trust His plan and know that all things work together for His good.

What painful family stories do you have that you want to share? What things have you done to accept the situation for what it is or what things have you done to try and change it? I want to hear from you!

But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.

Since I broke my ankle and I haven't been able to get to work or even out of the house really, I've had a lot of time to observe and to reflect. I'm a big user of social media but most of the time I'm so busy with other things that I miss things or I just don't have time to really ponder something and form a response to it. Watching the news and seeing events unfolding and seeing how people talk and act on social media and the way they portray their lives has me really coming to a lot of conclusions. 

One conclusion that I have come to is that there are two kinds of people in the world....those who are preparing for Christ's Second Coming and are concerned about their salvation, and those who are simply, NOT. Like, at all. 

If I were to pluck another Bible verse out that describes the current state of our world it would absolutely be..."For the coming of the Son of Man will be just like the days of Noah. For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark,..." Matthew 24:37-38. If you observe things the way I do, I'm sure you'll agree. 

Let's review quickly what happened before the flood. Since Adam's transgression  and the murder committed by Cain there was a curse on the land. There was decay on the earth, but there was still beauty, just like today. People were going about their business, working, living, having children, traveling, marrying, partying, etc, etc. Just like today. But one thing was wrong with this picture. See God created man to praise and worship Him and to live in harmony with Him, but just like today, that wasn't happening. Even though God would have given them anything their hearts desired they relied solely on themselves and sought to gratify the desires of their own proud hearts and reveled in things of pleasure and wickedness. They no longer desired God or things of God. They soon began to deny His very existence and took it upon themselves to say that all the great things they had, were because of themselves. They glorified human genius, worshiped things they made themselves, and taught their children to bow down to graven images. Polygamy had been introduced contrary to God's original design of marriage giving Adam one wife, a woman, and were starting to follow their own desires and taking on more than one wife along with their possessions at will and against will. If a man wanted something that belonged to his neighbor, he just took it, by force and they delighted in destroying the life of animals and the use of flesh for food made them more cruel and bloodthirsty until they basically gave no regard to human life. 

The earth was corrupt and filled with violence and the wickedness of men and women were open and daring. Lust and sexual sin was rampant and people were flippant towards their God that created it for one man and one woman. Justice was trampled under the feet of wicked men and the cries of the oppressed were reaching God's ear.

God decided that he would give a warning to the people but that because of the evil and corrupt nature of the world, He was going to destroy it. Along game Noah who worked tirelessly warning the people that a great flood that would destroy the world was coming and that they should repent and get on the boat. Of course, people then thought he was a nut case. They called him crazy, they insulted him, they made fun of him, they spat at him, and they claimed their idols would save them and they didn't need Noah's God. 

Pretty scary stuff. If I had to use my imagination I could set and picture these events playing out. The sad thing is, I don't have to use my imagination because it's all happening in front of me, now, in real life. 

Appetite is indulged without restraint. People who claim to be followers of Christ are eating and drinking with the drunken and indulging in sinful activities while they hold positions in church like teaching Sabbath school classes and being Elders. People care about nothing more than when the next party is happening and indulge in drunkenness and it's dangers without regard to the consequences. 

People feel no moral obligation to life or to curb their sensual desires, they are complete slaves of lust and do what they want, when they want. Men and women or living for the pleasures of this world and this life alone. 

Murder of the unborn is no big deal and places like Planned Parenthood make hundreds of thousands of dollars murdering the unborn daily. Self-proclaimed feminists like Sarah Silverman are walking around talking about the unborn as nothing more than "goo". Our precious unborn are murdered daily all in the name of "women's right to choose".  

Feminism has turned from a right for equality into a into a radical movement that hates men, feels like children are balls and chains and nothing more than an obstacle in the way of a woman and her career and that marriage is nothing more than legal rape.  

The pride of the strong Proverbs 31 woman has basically been trampled into the ground. Women like Michelle Duggar and her beautiful daughters are made fun of and their lifestyle is called old fashioned and sad. Saving yourself for marriage is considered dorky and uncool. 

And sexual sin...don't even get me started. There are currently several television shows that glorify polygamy. Lust and sexual desire is so mainstream now that we don't even bat an eye. Books like 50 Shades of Grey are straight up porn for the avid reader and set on bookshelves along with books on history and politics and religion like it's nothing. 

The traditional idea of marriage of one woman and one man has become hate speech and Christian businesses and business people are being sued in federal courts of law because they stand on their convictions. The homosexual agenda is being forced down the throats of society and if you say you don't agree with it you are accused of being a bigot and intolerant Bible thumper. Even if you love the sinner but hate the sin, it doesn't matter to these activists, they are willing to put you jail for hate speech and hate crimes if you speak out against them in any way. They want tolerance but are unwilling to tolerate the Christian view point. You are targeted by gay rights activist group if you are a business owner and forced to do things that violate their religious rights. 

The Government is constantly fighting against Christians with examples like the new Obamacare and forcing Christian owned businesses to provide contraceptives and abortion funding that goes against their religious rights. 

Common Core is trying to brainwash our children into little government following sheep and teaching things like Obama is the Messiah! 

Planned Parenthood wants to teach our children sex ed at a younger and younger age and honestly people, the things they are teaching and doing are downright scary and illegal!!

Our guns are being taken from us, our rights are being stripped, our President is a terrorist, liar, and criminal and so is everyone under his administration. Natural disasters are occurring daily, famine is widespread. Abuse to all humanity is rampant. Children are being killed in school shootings. I mean, I could go on and on but I think you all get the point. 

Yes, the world today is a pretty scary place to be for the Christian. We are ridiculed and made fun of, hated and abused. The more we try to preach the Bible and teach the love of Christ and beg people to repent of their sins the more we are silenced and hated.

False prophets and false religions are popping up everywhere in places like Long Island Medium and all of the popular ghost hunting shows. Satan has his grip on this world and is infuriating it daily through men and women that are supposed Christians but are teaching nothing more than heresy. 

We are warned over and over in the Bible about these things yet people just seem to want to ignore all of the signs around us. "Don't be fooled by what they say. For that day will not come until there is a great rebellion against God and the man of lawlessness is revealed--the one who brings destruction" 2 Thessalonians 2:3. The text goes on to say in verse 4 "who opposes and exalts himself above ever so-called god or object of worship, so that he takes his seat in the temple of God, displaying himself as being God". 

Rebellion is also interpreted in the Bible as "falling away" if you read a different version of this text. The term "falling away" or as it called in some other texts as "apostasy" means; to depart from revealed truth, to lead away, seduce, mislead; to defect, to blind the eyes of the people by manipulating the truth; to turn one from the truth by lying sings and wonders. Matthew 24: 4-12, the Lord Jesus Christ specifically warns all bout this time which is coming and there are many people still waiting for it to happen. The eyes of our society have been blinded to all that has happened over the past 20 or 30 years and it's still happening. We have been desensitized to what we can see right in from of our faces, so much so that society can no longer discern right from wrong, the holy from the unholy, the pure from the profane. Television assaults us daily with violence, all manner of adultery and sexual immortality, foul language and the so-called "alternative lifestyles. The music of today spews out a message of hatred of all that is clean, pure and orderly. Rap music glorifies prostitution, abuse against women, the love of money, and killing each other over these things. Gang violence is glorified. Rebellion is the norm and with the exception of a few courageous men, women, and children, people seem to be willing to turn their heads and look the other way. 

I am quite sure that by what I have written and expressed I've made a lot of people angry, I might even lose some friends. I cannot be afraid to do this because Jesus tells me, "For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart" Hebrews 4:12. 

We are living in the days of Noah my friends and we are living in the days of the end. Just because you may not believe it, choose not to believe it, or want to hide under a rock and ignore it, doesn't mean that it's not true. There will be many more things to come before the Second Coming and as for me and my house, we serve the Lord. It's imperative for me to tell these truths to you whether you like them or not, or whether you like me or not. 

My never ending prayer for you is that you will take notice and listen to the Holy Spirit and His call to you so that you won't be lost. 

Judge, lest you be judged...

There has been a lot of talk on my social media sites lately about judgement, judging, and passing judgement, etc. People I know have been arguing back and forth for weeks now about whether it's right or wrong and exactly what the definition of it is. I have joined in on quite a few of these conversations and many of them have really got me thinking about my position on this topic. If you want to spark a quick fire of anger and argument call someone out for their sexual immorality, or the abortion they had, or the idols in their lives, or the addiction they refuse to break free from. I promise you that "don't judge" will be the very first thing that comes flying out of their mouth. 

The first time I ever really hard the expression, "don't judge" was from my sister-in-law. I don't remember the exact conversation now but I remember being somewhat put off by her saying this to me because I didn't feel like I was passing judgement or putting something/someone down or trying to make someone feel bad, I was simply speaking the truth as I saw it. Over the years I have heard this phrase said in many different ways and many different contexts. The most popular I see are:

Don't judge someone just because they sin differently that you. 
Don't judge me by my decisions if you don't understand my reasons.
Keep calm and don't judge.
Don't judge me until you know me.
Don't judge someone's choices without first knowing their reason. 
Don't judge my path if you haven't walked my journey. 

Gaaaaaa!!! This judge word, its just so over used and so misunderstood that to the normal every day me, it all gets so confusing and frustrating to see and to be told. I do know two things....I know the minute you make someone feel bad or uncomfortable you are accused of judging them and  I do know that Jesus wants us to judge, but He wants us to do it based on the will of God. 

Lets take a look at the origination of this phrase...

"Do not judge so that you will not be judged". Matthew 7:1.  If you point out someone's sin this is the first verse that will be slapped across your face but the problem is, this is usually where people stop.

Like with so many versus or chapters of the Bible, people tend to just pick one thing they like and they stop there without further interpretation or research. So, let's not be them. Let's go a little further..."For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you". Matthew 7:2. Makes a lot more sense and ties things together when you keep reading huh? 

There are several other versus in the Bible that reference judging; Luke 6:37 talks about not condemning and that you should forgive so that you can be forgiven. Luke 6:41 speaks of how you should remove the plank from your own eye before you try and examine the speck of dust in your brothers eye. John 8:7 is the famous verse where Jesus says that if you are without sin to throw the first stone. Romans 2:1 is basically parallel to Luke in which is says you will be judged to the same point as you judge someone else. Romans 14.10 says that you pretty much should watch out and not treat someone with contempt because you will stand in the same judgement seat as your brother or sister. Romans 14.13 is a great one that speaks about instead of judging that you should make up your mind that you will not put any stumbling blocks in the way of your brother or sisters walk with Christ. 1 Corinthians 4:5 speaks of how you don't need to point out someone else's flaws because God will bring to light everything that we have been trying to hide in darkness and expose the motives of the heart. James 4:11 is where we are told not to slander each other and that if we speak out against our brother or sister we are speaking against the law and when we speak against the law, we're not keeping it but sitting in judgement on it.  I think that 1 Corinthians 4:5 is probably my favorite and I think it's the most telling and easiest to understand on this topic. "Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God." 

If Jesus doesn't want us to judge each other then why in the world are there so many versus in the Bible about this topic? 

Society often takes all of these versus out of context and they use them to condemn and accuse the Christian of being "judgmental" when they speak out against sin. What I believe that Jesus is saying in all of these versus is that we are not to judge according to appearance, but we are to judge in righteous judgement. If someone steals, lies, commits adultery, or murder, Christian's can make a righteous moral judgement and say that these actions or sins are morally wrong and that there will be eternal consequences. 

Chuck Colson said, "True tolerance is not a total lack of judgement. It's knowing what should be tolerated- and refusing to tolerate what which shouldn't". - The evidence Bible. 

No one wants to be made to feel uncomfortable in their sin. People are sinful in nature and they want to be left alone to do what they want, when they want, without someone trying to make them feel guilty about it. That's when the ol "Don't judge me!" will come flying out. People will tell you that if you call them out on their sin that you are not being tolerant of them and they will say that what you're telling them is hate speech, that you are judging them, and that you are not treating them fairly. 

It's also funny to me what we as a society choose to say is ok to judge and what is not ok to judge. I read a story about a woman that was in line to vote for President and she made a remark saying, "Well, we aren't supposed to judge". I thought wow, choosing NOT to judge a political candidate on election day?! No wonder our nation is in such a mess. 

My opinion on these versus, or my interpretation is that we are to judge ourselves first, and then we can judge other's behavior. I get this from Luke 6:41. To me this means that I need to check my own behavior before I go out and start telling other people how to behave. I need to get my heart right with the Lord before I can go out and teach other's how to get their heart right.

 I see it all tying together with hypocrisy. How can I be addicted to some sort of substance and in the midst of my addiction go out and try and tell other people that they need to get off of drugs or alcohol? How can I tell someone not to steal when just the night before I stole? 

I think if one verse in the Bible best describes my generation and the society we live in its Isaiah 59:7- 8, "Their feet run to evil, And they hasten to shed innocent blood; Their thoughts are thoughts of iniquity, devastation and destruction are in their highways. They do not know the way of peace, and there is no justice in their tracks; they have made their paths crooked, whoever treads on them does not know peace". We have screamed at each other DON'T JUDGE ME so much that this is no peace. We have succumbed ourselves to sin so much that we don't even recognize what is right and just any more and we allow the sinner to be comfortable in their sin because we just want to get along. But we're not really getting along are we? But how can I live in peace and harmony with Christ if I don't discern between what is sinful and what is not sinful? What about Revelation 2:2? "I know your deeds; your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false". Why would God be please with these people if judging sin was wrong? Is it not impossible to find someone a liar without judging them? I think it's important to judge on a regular basis so that we are properly serving and honoring God. 

I think the problem is with most Christians is that they are afraid of someone accusing them of being mean, or being uncharitable. The danger there is that they are bending on their moral teachings. My dad has a saying he uses quite a bit, "How do they know they are in need of a Savior if we do not point out their sin". As Christians I think we are far to fearful of the PC police and we are bending and twisting to the morals of this world instead of standing on the Word of God and condemning sin for what it is. Sex outside of traditional marriage is wrong, killing the unborn is a sin, stealing is a sin, murder is a sin, lying....is a sin. I don't want to sin by being a liar and I am lying if I don't judge sin for sin. If I don't call you out on what you are doing wrong, then I am doing an injustice to you by not allowing you to be convicted by God, and I am lying to you. Wisdom is being able to discern good from evil and we're in trouble if we as Christians refuse to do it because we're afraid we might lose a few friends. 

So the question is then...how are we supposed to judge? I think there is quite a bit of guidance in the Bible for judging. Going back to my favorite verse on this topic, 1 Corinthians 4:5 is where I see the real heart of the matter of judging and where I get the most upset with people. Let's review that verse one more time...."Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God." 

 I am all for judging sin. I am all for "Love the sinner, hate the sin". I think that God wants us to judge sin, I think it's required that we judge sin, and I think if we don't judge sin we are actually living in sin and sinning against God. I just don't think that we should place ourselves in a position where we are above someone else and I don't think that we should try and take the authority of God and judge someone's heart or their hearts intention.

 You see, we are all not finished yet. We are all clay in the Potter's hands. He is not quite finished with us yet. I personally have a lot of growing and learning left to do. I many sin but in my heart I desire Christ and I am still learning my path and I'm still being rebuked by Christ. He will get me where He wants me, in His time. And he will do the same with all of you.  

So when we judge we need to make sure that we are judging:

1.  Scripturally. Our standard is flawed, it is not God's standard so we have to use His word as our standard. 

2. Don't judge when God's Word is silent. If God is silent about the subject then we don't have to judge it. God will. Don't make more out of a topic than God makes out of it. 

3. Pray for good judgement ability. When Solomon received his kingdom, he asked God to "Give therefore they servant an understanding heart to judge thy people, that I may discern between good and bad; for who is able to judge this thy so great a people?" 1 Kings 3:9. We should pray for good judgement ability so that we don't sin against God. 

4. Be fair. A truly fair judge is blind and deaf to outer influence so all parties should be treated fairly such as family members or friends. 

5. Judge in truth. Don't judge someone or something without all the relevant facts. A Japanese proverb says to "search seven times before you judge."

6. Judge mercifully. If you are quick to judge others harshly, then I truly believe that God will see to it that you receive the same from others. You reap what you sow. Has God not been merciful to you, even though you didn't deserve it? 

7. Don't forget to judge yourself. 1 Corinthians 11:30-31, "For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep. For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged." If you take your own accountability first and set yourself straight, there isn't a whole lot others can say about you. If you refuse to judge yourself and improve yourself as a child of God then you are leaving it in His hands and everyone else's hands to judge you. You cannot secretly be sinning, or outwardly be sinning and try to call someone out because it will come back to bite you. 

**One more thing of great importance about judging. There is a huge difference between judgement of someone's sin and judgement of someone's appearance. I get really irritated with this one. You can form a perception or an opinion of someone based on how they look or dress or how they style their hair, or what music they listen to or the type of car they drive. This is completely different than "judging". This is more commonly called, "Don't judge a book by it's cover". Just because someone looks different that you doesn't mean they are a bad person. It doesn't mean that you have the right to put them down, insult them, or make assumptions about their life or their morals. Be careful about this because some of the nicest and most kind hearted people you will ever meet look completely different that you do. 

I want to know what you have to say. What is your opinion on this hot topic or what is your experience with it? Leave me a comment and let me know!

Turn your negative...Positive!

I don't know about you guys but I think genetics plays a huge role in just about everything and whether it's nature or nurture, I also think that genetics plays a part in how we generally feel and how we speak to ourselves. I come from a background of just general negativity. My father is a real "debbie downer" and I grew up watching him be a negative person. I watched him negative self talk and negative talk to everyone around him. He rarely had a positive thing to say and most of the time things were very gloom and doom in our home. We couldn't really go anywhere, do anything, or plan anything because to him, there was no point. This was a really hard way to live for a growing girl who had the world at her fingertips and all sorts of wonderful dreams that should have came true.

My mom is at heart a dreamer and a naturally positive and fun little social butterfly and I am so thankful for that ying-yang I had growing up. If it weren't for her, I would be a whole lot more negative that I am now (which is usually pretty negative). 

At times I've tried to pass off my negativity by saying, "Oh, I'm just a realist". Which is partly true. I do pride myself on being real about things. I don't think that being delusional is any more of a positive trait than being a Negative Nancy. 

But, realism can also be a dream squasher if you let it negatively impact your scope of viewing things in life. For example, yes, I am discouraged with the world today, there are a ton of things that frankly just piss me off. That's real. Life sucks sometimes. Terrible things happen. Christians are persecuted. Children are murdered in the womb all in the name of "choice". Kids are kidnapped and murdered. Women are beaten by their husbands. Women are raped by complete strangers. Men are picked on and emasculated by fembot-nazi's and kept away from their children and not involved in any decision making in their own home. I could go on and on right? These things are real. Very real. But what I choose to do about them says a lot about myself. I can shut myself away and choose not to be a part of society because it's so dang repulsive, or I can choose to let my light shine and try and make a difference. I can try and come up with a solution to these issues and be productive, or I can become part of the problem. I talk to myself in negative demeaning ways that constantly keep me discouraged, or I can speak positive and true language that builds myself and others up, not down. It doesn't just happen. You have to change your behavior to get different results.

So what are ways that you accomplish turning your negative talk into positive talk? There are tons as I've discovered! 

1. Control your thoughts. The Bible says, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." ~ Philippians 4: 8-9

You have to take charge of your mind. It takes effort and it takes practice but you can do it. Instead of saying, I can't, say, I'm going to try. When negativity seeps into your thought process, you have to take control of your thoughts and turn them the other direction. Starting out your day with just one positive thought can affect your whole day. I used to wake up and dread the day. The first thing that ran through my mind when my eyes popped open was, "Oh crap, here we go again. Wonder what idiot is going to piss me off today". Seriously, I did. How sad is that. Now when I open my eyes, I force myself to say, "Thank you Jesus for another day, please help it to be great!" I'm not saying it's easy and I'm not saying I don't have those days that negative thoughts seep into my brain. I am human living in a negative world. But I, nor you, have to do it all at once, baby steps are just fine! 

2. Read Scripture. I started something on my Facebook that I didn't know would even be read. But, when I don't do it, people say something. I started something I call, "A verse a day keeps the devil away". Each day (or at least I try each day, sometimes I miss a day or two) I post scripture that is relevant either to current things happening in the world or something that just struck my heart that day and made me feel better. Memorize scripture, dwell on it, let it seep into your brain so that the words play over and over in your mind. It's the bread of life and it's enough to sustain you. It's made to uplift you. And when you fill your mind with it, there isn't room for anything else. 

(If you aren't a religious person, that's ok, you can still fill your mind with positive words. There are tons of self-help books out there that are on the topic of positive speak. Find what works for you, but, don't reject something because it seems strange or outside of your realm. Step outside yourself and take a chance!)

3. Journal. Journaling has become such a huge help and relief to me throughout the years. Instead of throwing out my negativity to the world through being grumpy or mean or having a negative disposition I write what I am feeling down in my journal and I get it out of my head. I basically talk to myself and try and sort out why I feel the way I do. You can do this as a prayer journal or just as a normal dump book. The point is, get the negative out of your head so that you can put positive things in your head and change your outlook. 

4. Don't play the victim. You create your life. Take responsibility. Each day you make a choice to be a part of the problem or be a part of the solution. Don't dwell on the past and let it define your future. Don't use your past mistakes as an enabler to make future mistakes. Own your life. If you don't like something about yourself, your job, where you live, what you eat, etc, etc, do something about it. 

I realize that sometimes it's easier said that done but just setting and dwelling on your problem isn't going to make the problem go away. Thoughts can be sneaky little devils that can control everything you do and impact every area of your life if you let them. Again, it's about taking your thoughts captive and not allowing them to control you. 

5. Break old habits and create new ones. I have a ton of bad habits. Who doesn't right? But breaking just one bad habit and replacing it with a positive habit can have a huge affect on your life and how you think. If you have a habit of not exercising, change it. Instead of setting at your desk all day, get out and take a walk. Instead of popping down on your couch after dinner and watching your favorite show, DVR that sucker and go take a walk, alone or with your family. If you smoke, quit. If you drink to much, slow it down, or quit. If you eat to much junk food, start eating more healthy snacks. I know, I know...sounds sooooo easy right? Ha! No, it's not easy, never said it would be. But, as long as it took you to develop that habit, it will take just as long to break it so you better just go ahead and get it over with. And negative self talk, trust me, it's a habit. Break it. The more bad habits you break, the happier you will be, and the happier you are, the less negativity you will put out into the world. 

6. Help someone. Get out there and do something for someone else. It's really hard to speak negatively about yourself or others when you're helping someone. Go sign up to be a volunteer at a homeless shelter (if you're in Des Moines I know just the one for you!) Go volunteer to hold babies at the hospital or to read to sick kids on the cancer floor. Bake cookies or brownies or cook a meal and take it over to a neighbor. Go visit the elderly person down the street that probably is pretty lonely. Go wash someone's car, mow their lawn, babysit their child, run an errand. There are so many ways that you can help another person and again, it's extremely difficult to be a negative person when you are doing something so kind and helpful for someone else. Plus, it just might show you that your life isn't as bad as you thought it was.

7. Get a Positive Partner. It's a lot easier to do things when you have someone to hold you accountable. So either fill your life with positive people or get yourself a partner that will hold you accountable when you start to get negative. Hold them accountable as well. When you start seeing negativity seeping from someone's life, tell them. Give them a positive thought or action to think about or do instead. I have found that it's a lot easier to be objective about someone else's life than your own. When you're outside of a situation you can see things more clearly. When you take your mind off of your own problems and focus on someone else and trying to help them, it will be positive in your life as well.

8. Get rid of the negative people in your life. Just like finding positive people to fill your life, you have to get rid of the negative people as well. Do you have that person in your life that is just drama 24/7? That is constantly putting you down or making you feel guilty about something? We all have them. They can be a parent, a sibling, another family member, a boss, a "friend", someone at church, someone at your child's school, anyone. I know that it's hard to cut people out of your life, especially when they are family, but sometimes you just have to. God expects you to forgive those who have harmed you but He doesn't expect you to continue a destructive and negative relationship. You don't have to be held captive by someone just because you're tied to them by blood. You don't have to live with a spouse who destroys your soul. You don't have to continue being friends with someone who offers nothing to you that is good or positive. Break the tie and brush the dirt off your shoulder and move on!

9. Smile. When you feel bad on the inside it's pretty easy to look bad on the outside. But here is another way you have a choice to control yourself. Force yourself to smile. People will smile back, and even if they don't, at least you might have been the only positive in their day and that will make you feel pretty dang good about yourself.

10. Do things that make you happy. Music, reading, movies, my son, my husband, shopping, volunteering, school, friends, eating, cooking, church, the Bible, God and Jesus, talking, writing, and learning. All of these things make me happy. The more of them I do the happier I am. Fill your life with things you enjoy. When you're busy doing things fun, there is no time for the negative to get in. Music my friends is therapy. Get in your car and blast your favorite song and sing it as loud as you can! Focus on that music or book that lifts you up and makes you feel good.

11. Don't worry. Stop worrying about tomorrow and what tomorrow holds. Worry creates stress, stress creates negativity. To stay healthy, worry just enough for today and put faith in the only One that actually controls tomorrow.  The Bible says, "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." Matthew 6:24.

And finally, pray. Pray for positive things and they will come to you. Accept Jesus into your heart and you will naturally become a positive person. You can't control it, it just happens. I hope that I have helped you realize that you can control your life, you can control your actions, your thoughts, your feelings, and your world. Just doing this blog has helped me be a more positive person!!

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.